#MondayMadness - You know you're a mother when...
- You don’t remember the last time you peed in private - You only have time to shave one leg at a time
- Your handbag is crammed full with toys, snacks, food crumbs and balled up paper towels
- You cannot wait to escape your tot for a night out, and then spend the entire night missing/checking-up on him/her
- You always get the feeling that you’re forgetting something when you’re out and about alone
- You have no qualms about digging out a piece of booger from your child’s nose. In fact, you find it oddly satisfying
- You’re obsessed with color, consistency and frequency of poop
- Food on the ceiling does not surprise you in the least
- Comfort seems to always take precedence over fashion. Hello sweatpants!
- You live for naps
- Showering is the only me time you ever get
- You catch yourself humming nursery rhymes all the time
- You cannot quite look at your boobs and nipples the same way again
- You can get poop on your hands, puke down your front, wash it off, and still be able to eat 2 minutes later
- A previously self-assured you is constantly plagued by doubt, guilt and paranoia
- You automatically dislike new moms who look immaculate and skinnier than their pre-pregnancy days, 2 weeks after giving birth
- You realize that there is absolutely nothing you will not do to protect your little angel
